what's in a name?

well.  i've arrived at 27 weeks.  depending on which book / website you read, this is the beginning of the third trimester.  (some say it starts at week 27... others say it starts at week 28... i say, "holy crap, i'm having a baby in 13 weeks!"  ummm, that's less than 100 days.  seriously.)  :-)

anyway, things have been a bit roller-coastery as of late.  as excited as i am to welcome Baby Girl into our lives, i am equally as overwhelmed / terrified / concerned / bewildered / wondering what-the-heck-were-we-thinking??  without fail, every time i find myself in a moment of peace and happiness, ((boom)) the bottom drops out.

((boom)) we totaled the car.
((boom)) the basement floods.
((boom)) maternity leave is not going to be as long as i thought.
((boom)) i'm not getting the raise that i'd been praying for.
((boom)) steve will be deployed to afghanistan for 4 months next year.
((boom)) the nearly-free childcare we'd been counting on is not available after all.
((boom)) somehow we need to come up with several hundred extra dollars per month for childcare.

it's gotten to the point where i'm almost afraid to be happy, for fear of what big scary event may be lying in wait just around the corner.  this is probably not a healthy way to live -- in a constant state of fear -- but i seem to be batting a thousand lately.  and it's just.so.frustrating.  it's robbing me of the joy of this new life inside of me.  it's making me bitter towards people who can afford to live on one salary and be stay-at-home-moms.  it's pushing me to question so many things about God and the complexities of his plan.  it's exhausting me to realize that maybe this is just how life is and will continue to be.  it's making me wonder what i did wrong to get to this point?

man, what a downer, right?  but hey, i'm pregnant.  mood swings kind of come with the territory.  (speaking of which, do you watch The Office?  in last night's season premiere, i was completely cracking up at weepy, pregnant Pam.  that is so me.)  :-)

anyway, i have no brilliant Bible verses or cutesie anecdotes or inspirational pep talks today.  but i do have God's grace, and i'm holding on as tightly as i can.  which brings me to my final thought for the day -- Baby Lougee's name.  steve and i have pretty much agreed on this name from the get-go.  so unless she really, really doesn't look like this when she's born, her name will be.....

Isla Grace

(for the record, Isla is pronounced "eye-luh.")  :-)

i'm really into name meanings, so here we go...  Isla most frequently means "island," but it also means "flowing like a river."  and Grace means, well, grace.  :-)  unmerited favor or goodwill.  so, in these dark days of uncertainty, i pray to God and thank him over and over again for the "flowing grace" in our lives.  what a blessing.

hondas, hallways, and hardware

as we near the end of summer (and the end of my second trimester -- WHAT??  how is that possible?), i thought i'd share an update of things we've been up to.

in mid-august, my dear husband totaled my little red Civic -- my first major purchase as a college graduate.  steve had been driving on wet roads and slid right into a telephone pole.  :-(  praise, praise, praise the Lord that he didn't have any major injuries!  it was a rough couple of weeks, trying to figure out what we were going to do and how we could possibly afford a new/used vehicle at this point in our lives when money was already pretty tight.  my car had been paid off for several years, and i was REALLY enjoying not having a car payment!  but alas, God had other plans for us.  better plans, in fact.  because the Civic was totaled, the door was opened for us to purchase a car that was a better fit for our growing family.  so i've graduated from a 2-door Civic to a 4-door Accord.  (staying within the Honda family, of course!)  and i've gotta say, i couldn't be happier.  God provided us with a reliable car, affordable payments, a huge trunk, and a spacious backseat... perfect for a baby's car seat and other baby-related paraphernalia.  what a blessing!

good-bye, sheila!  hello, lovely car yet-to-be-named!

we've been keeping busy with our Pre-Baby To-Do List also!  one of the items that i've been meaning to tackle is painting our main hallway.  the doors really needed to be sanded and repainted (the previous owner did a very sloppy job!) and i wanted a bit of color on the walls.  this project turned out to be much more of a hassle than i had anticipated (cue major hormonal pregnancy meltdown!), but i'm happy with the results.  it looks so much fresher!

the before picture really doesn't do any justice to how horrible it looked.  the paint on those doors was thrown on SO haphazardly!  it was drippy, streaky, and downright ugly.  the newly-painted, crisp white doors and blue-gray walls make me so happy!  :-)  (FYI: still need to replace the light fixture... just haven't found the right one yet!)

i also replaced all of the door hardware -- hinges and doorknobs!  we happily disposed of the rusty, brassy, hideous hardware that came with the house and replaced them with these sparkling beauties!  (it is, perhaps, a little unhealthy how ecstatic i am about this part of the project.  it really was the icing on the cake!)

so what's next on our list?  well, the windows will be installed sometime in late september / early october.  (but that won't be a major issue for us since the window company is installing them.)  as steve continues to toil away on the second floor drywalling, i have decided it's high time to dive into the nursery!  oh, and we really need to register soon too.  so yeah, those are the immediate projects.  i'm actually feeling pretty good about the status of things at the house.  there have been some other emotional / mental hurdles that i've been dealing with, but i'll save that for another day...  right now, i'm just going to look at my shiny doorknobs and SMILE.  :-)

Pop!

i have been told that i've "popped" this week.  and i agree.  what do you think?

23 weeks and feeling great!

i love that little bump!  and i love feeling baby girl moving around in there.  she has definitely established very clear patterns within the past few weeks.  i feel her moving every day around 11am, 4pm, and 10pm.  she's imitating her mommy already -- establishing an organized schedule.  :-)

steve and i have been keeping busy during this past month, knocking things off our to-do list and feeling pretty good about it -- new windows have been ordered, the hallway and doors have been painted, progress has been made on the second floor renovations...  i plan to post some project pictures soon!

well, i'm off to the eye doctor!  that's another thing i wanted to accomplish before baby girl arrives -- new glasses to replace my current pair that has been super glued together for the past few months.  :-)  have a great day!

halfway!

well.  today officially marks the halfway point.  20 weeks!  i can hardly believe it.  as of this morning, here is how the baby bump is progressing:

still nothing too exciting.  (but i did "instagram" it, so maybe that will make the picture a tad more interesting...)  :-)  mind you, i'm not complaining about my size.  i'm sure i'll pop soon enough!  i'm not a small person to begin with, so maybe the baby has more room to hide.  :-)  however, according to my weekly pregnancy email update, the baby is now the size of a cantaloupe.   i'm just trying to figure out where that cantaloupe is hiding...

so anyway.  halfway.  that's both exciting and scary.  i am thrilled beyond belief to meet baby girl lougee, but SO MUCH has to happen between now and december 23(ish)!  here is my current list.  (i'm posting this mostly for my own benefit.)  :-)

• settle on a name for baby girl.  (i'm pretty sure we have this one nailed down.  but we just want to be sure!)
• register for classes.  (birthing class?  breastfeeding class?  infant care 101?  i need all the help i can get!)
• register for baby supplies.  (at babies r us?  target?  i'm not sure yet...)
• figure out what maternity leave is going to look like and how long it is going to last.
• prep everything for the temp who will fill in for me during maternity leave.
• finalize childcare plans for when i return to work.  (my FANTASTIC sister has volunteered to be our primary babysitter during the week.  however, she currently has one child of her own and two on the way from rwanda (!!), so with baby lougee, it's going to be FULL house.  i'd like to find another babysitter for one or two days a week to give keri a little break.)
• finish house projects, including but not limited to:
• finish repairing our squirrel-ravaged second floor (wiring, drywall, moulding, painting, etc.)
• replace all windows (it's an older house.  the windows are 50-60 years old and very drafty.  we don't want baby girl catching a cold unnecessarily!)
• move the office from its current location (first floor) to its new location (second floor)
• create a nursery (in the old office -- right next to our bedroom on the first floor)
• finish painting the hallway on the first floor, which includes five doors plus the walls  (i guess technically this doesn't HAVE to be completed before the baby arrives, but i'd love to just get it over with.)
• organize EVERYTHING.  :-)

so i think we have our work cut out for us for the next 20 weeks.  but i'm sure it will all come together.  right?  (i mean, it really will, right?  i need a pep talk here.  it WILL come together.)

let me wrap this up before i get too overwhelmed (which seems to happen a lot these days, thanks to my only semi-functioning brain).  :-)  have a great weekend, everyone!!

Gender Reveal Party

if you are friends with me on facebook, you are already aware of this.  but, if you're not, here's the big announcement...

it's a girl!!

and we are tickled pink.  (pun intended, of course.)  :-)  from the beginning, i just knew.  i'm certain that i would have been equally thrilled with a boy, but i have to say, girl just feels right for us... at least at this point in our lives.  who knows what the future will hold!

so, we had our ultrasound on wednesday, and on saturday, we had the Gender Reveal party.  can i just tell you how hard it was to keep my mouth shut for that long?!  but i'm so glad i did.  the party was so much fun!  here's how it all went down...

 

i made two strands of bunting from scrapbook paper.  i hung the "boy or girl" strand from the mantle, right under the framed ultrasound pictures.

photo credit: megan wark of blackstone photography

the "baby lougee" bunting was hung in the window between the kitchen and living room.

i didn't get a great shot of the food table, but here it is...  i prepared foods that i have been craving throughout this pregnancy: fresh fruit salad, deviled eggs, sweet party sandwiches, salt and vinegar chips, and lemon bars.

 

photo credit: megan wark of blackstone photography

and then there were the cupcakes, which would be used for the big reveal.  i used yellow cake with a strawberry cream cheese filling -- and a few extra drops of food coloring just to make sure the filling was nice and pink.  :-)

photo credit: megan wark of blackstone photography

we asked all of our guests to wear pink if they thought it was a girl and blue if they thought it was a boy.  here is Team Pink!  (and purple... my sister claims that she does not own a pink shirt.)  :-)

photo credit: megan wark of blackstone photography

and here is Team Blue!  you can see that blue was the majority.

photo credit: megan wark of blackstone photography

the whole crew

photo credit: megan wark of blackstone photography

after eating and socializing, it was time for the big reveal!

photo credit: megan wark of blackstone photography

pink filling!  it's a girl!!

it was such a fun day!  steve and i feel so fortunate to be surrounded by such a fantastic group of friends and family.  baby girl lougee is sooooo loved already.  we continue to praise the Lord for this amazing gift!

shout out: many thanks to my friend megan wark for capturing these memories for us!!!

projects, preparations, and pending news

so i've been a bad blogger lately.  but really, there just isn't much to talk about.  so far, my second trimester has been gloriously uneventful.  i feel healthy and alert and (on most days) pretty darn happy.  oh, i still suffer from the occasional FREAK OUT / I-CAN'T-HANDLE-THIS moment, but i'm just going to go ahead and blame that on pregnancy hormones.  :-)

steve and i have been keeping pretty busy preparing our home for the baby.  having moved into our first home just 9 months ago, we are still learning the ropes and working on some fairly major projects.  we've made a serious dent in the jungle that was our yard.  it's coming along nicely!  we're also making very slow progress on the second floor, which basically had to be gutted and re-built, thanks to some significant squirrel damage (that went unnoticed by our home inspector -- don't even get me started on that!).  looking forward to the day that i can post some before-and-after pictures!  (just FYI: the baby's nursery will be on the first floor, right next to our bedroom, so at least the construction chaos is out of sight.  BUT, this project really needs to be completed before the baby arrives or it will just never get done, i'm afraid.)

some pretty exciting news is that our first ultrasound is set for this wednesday, july 20!  i was a little bummed that we didn't get an ultrasound before now, but my OB only does early ultrasounds if there are complications or something.  so, on wednesday, we will finally get to see the little person growing inside of me!  YES, we plan to find out the gender.  (i mean, really.  have you met me?  i need to plan, plan, plan as much as possible!)  :-)  and YES, we intend to tell everyone.  but, for a bit of fun, we've decided to throw a little "gender reveal" party on saturday, during which we will share the results of the ultrasound with some close friends and family.  i certainly hope that baby lougee cooperates with us on wednesday.  this is probably the only time in my life i will say this, baby -- please don't be modest!  :-)

so, i'm about 4 months along now... almost 18 weeks.  how about another bump update?

yeah.  still not much to write home about.  there is an ever-so-slight protrusion in my lower abdomen, but it's hardly noticeable.  and yet, very few of my clothes fit (which is maybe why i look so ticked off in the picture... sorry about that!)  it's interesting how i can feel so big and so small at the same time.

well, i suppose that's all for today!  feel free to leave your guesses -- boy or girl??  for the record, i think it's a girl.  steve is on the fence but is leaning towards boy.  (which is not to say that he is hoping a boy... in fact, he starts to glow a little bit every time he talks about having a little girl... so cute.)  :-)  either way, we are going to be over the moon with excitement!

goodbye, hello!

goodbye, first trimester!  hello, second trimester!

today, i officially start my second trimester.  i'm really looking forward to it, as i've heard it's the most favorable of the trimesters.  i'm definitely looking forward to having some energy again.  bring on the nesting!! :-)  i have a long list of projects to tackle before baby lougee arrives, so i'm hoping the promises of the second trimester "super energy" and "awesomeness" and "bliss" are true.  i'm really, really ready to retire cranky, sleepy, nauseous, headachy beth.  (i'm sure steve won't mind a break from her either...)  ;-)

without further ado, i'd like to recap my first trimester.  here are some of my First Trimester Favorites:

foods that contain VINEGAR.  cannot get enough!  i've had my fair share of sweet cravings too, but mostly, i'm into salty, vinegary snacks.  salt and vinegar chips, french fries with vinegar, pickles, pickled eggs and red beats, pulled pork with vinegar.  mmmmm!  i'm salivating.

JACK BAUER.  i've been spending a lot of time with him lately.  or, i should say, jack and my treadmill.  i've been working my way through 24 on netflix while i walk on the treadmill in the evenings.  i'm currently on season 6.  definitely gets my heart racing! (the treadmill, of course.  not jack.  ok, well, maybe jack a little....)  ;-)

in the mornings, i do a pregnancy workout DVD.  i've been using LINDSAY BRIN'S FIRST TRIMESTER workout, which includes both a yoga segment and a strength/cardio segment.  it's a pretty good workout, although lindsay is a bit too peppy / cheerleadery for me.  "ok, now let's work those bun cakes!"  really?  bun cakes?  i have a hard time with that kind of perkiness at 5:30 AM.

i love this pregnancy journal called THE BELLY BOOK.  it has a place to record the highlights of each week, details from the doctor appointments, growing belly pictures, memories, current events, etc.  a friend of mine highly recommended that i keep a pregnancy journal, and i'm so glad i took her advice!

STEPHEN LOUGEE.  he is also a favorite.  probably THE favorite.  :-)  he's been such a gem throughout this first trimester of fatigue, mood swings, inability to concentrate, feeling overwhelmed, etc.  he's been my partner in every imaginable way.  i love him, and i so appreciate all his hard work in preparing our home for the baby!

let's wrap up this post with... drumroll please... my first official belly picture!

or should i call it my non-belly picture?  because really, there's just not much to see yet.  my body is definitely changing, though!  hello, expanding hips.  (while i am not super excited about you now, i am quite certain that i will have a greater appreciation for you in december when i'm huffing and puffing my way through labor and delivery.)  :-)

so there you have it!  i'm so excited to see what my second trimester has in store!