well... my birthday, my last day of work, isla's due date, and christmas have all come and gone. as much as i was hoping to have a baby in my arms by this point, i can't say that i'm too surprised to still be waiting.
at my 40 week appointment last thursday, a somewhat callous and matter-of-fact midwife (who let's just say was NOT my favorite person ever) made it very clear that i wasn't even close. i believe her exact words were "your cervix is completely closed and way up in the rafters." (too much info? sorry...) later when i told her that i was staying in the area for the holidays, she said, "it doesn't really matter. you're not going to go into labor and even if you do, you'd still have plenty of time to drive back here." ummm, thanks. i kind of wanted to claw her eyes out. :-)
but the truth is that she was probably right. and so we wait. and wait. and wait. i know that this is extremely normal. disappointing, but normal.
if i've learned anything over the past few years, it's that waiting is not such a bad thing. i know that she will be worth it. and while i'm waiting, i've been soaking up some extra special time with steve in our last few days or weeks as a family of two. uncomfortable though i may be, i am enjoying this period of time... i'm learning to love my husband a little deeper... express my gratefulness and appreciation a little more openly... and snuggle a little bit closer (as much as my jumbo belly will allow!). :-) perhaps God knew we needed this.
hope you all had a marvelous christmas! here's to a truly life-changing new year! :-)
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Monday, December 12, 2011
countdown...
well, here i am at 38.5 weeks. (remember a few months ago when i was so sad about how long it was taking for my belly to pop out? now it looks like i'm trying to smuggle a basketball under my shirt...) :-)
anyway, Little Miss Isla is due in just 11 DAYS. i believe steve and i are about as ready as we're ever going to be! here are a few stats...
- 5 DAYS until my 31st birthday (kind of forgot about my birthday this year... i'm just curious to find out if isla is going to have to share her birthday with her mama!)
- 4 MEALS in the freezer for after isla's arrival (hoping to make a few more if time permits...)
- 3 BAGS packed for the hospital for me, steve, and isla (pretty sure i over-packed, but i like to be prepared!)
- 2 WEEKS until christmas (so excited to see if this will be isla's first christmas!)
- 1 CAR SEAT safely installed in the back of my honda (i feel like such a grown up!)
in other news, i'd like to follow-up with last week's discussion about the possibility of an ECV. we met with the doctor on tuesday to talk about the pros and cons of this procedure. when we found out that there was only a 50% success rate and also the possibility of trauma / distress to the baby, steve and i really didn't feel comfortable going this route. so we decided that a c-section would be a better option for me. HOWEVER, it turns out that it was a moot point because on thursday i had another ultrasound, and it showed that isla had flipped herself around again! she is now head-down, face-down, and ready to go! so now we wait and hope that she stays in that position for the remainder of the pregnancy. (apparently, she still has enough room in there to flip again, so they'll just keep a close eye on her.)
hope you all are enjoying the holiday season! i know it will be life-changing for me and steve this year! :-)
Monday, December 5, 2011
project nursery and other news
we have a nursery. and not a moment too soon! isla could very possibly arrive any day now, so i'm happy that her room is finally ready!
to appreciate the final product, you really need to see the "before" pictures. previously, her room had been our junk room in every sense of the word. yuck.
in order to transform the room into a nursery, we had to replace the drafty old windows, change the light fixture, prime everything (the previous paint had been oil based...), apply about 500 coats of paint (ok, maybe just three or four...), cry a lot and change my mind a lot and fight with the people at walmart about failed site-to-store deliveries (pregnancy = way too much drama for me!), and then finally pull it all together! whew!
so here's the final product. it doesn't really compare to the amazingly cool nurseries i've been scoping out on pinterest.com and other websites, but i like it and i think isla will feel right at home. :-)
in other news....
to appreciate the final product, you really need to see the "before" pictures. previously, her room had been our junk room in every sense of the word. yuck.
in order to transform the room into a nursery, we had to replace the drafty old windows, change the light fixture, prime everything (the previous paint had been oil based...), apply about 500 coats of paint (ok, maybe just three or four...), cry a lot and change my mind a lot and fight with the people at walmart about failed site-to-store deliveries (pregnancy = way too much drama for me!), and then finally pull it all together! whew!
so here's the final product. it doesn't really compare to the amazingly cool nurseries i've been scoping out on pinterest.com and other websites, but i like it and i think isla will feel right at home. :-)
i picked the general color palate, but steve settled on the final wall color. good choice, steve! :-)
the changing table is a reeeeeaally old dresser from my dad's side of the family. i repainted it 6-7 years ago, having no idea that i'd one day use it for for this purpose!
in the near future, the hooks will be used for hanging little towels and whatnot... but for now, i just couldn't resist hanging a cute little sweater!
here is the corner opposite of the crib. the rocking chair is the same one the my mom rocked me and my sister on as babies. :-)
i painted the back of a bookshelf to match my colors. easy-schmeasy update! also, the stuffed animals all have a story behind them. i love that i can pass them on to my little girl!
ideally, i'd still like to find an ottoman and side table for this corner of the room. with my awesome photoshopping skills, you can see how this will look one day. :-)
in other news....
- prior to thanksgiving, isla had been head-down and ready for delivery. however, at my appointment last week, the midwife discovered that she had flipped back around and is now breech. (must have been all of that wonderful thanksgiving food!) since i'm now at 37 weeks, we will be meeting with a doctor tomorrow to discuss options, which include an ECV (external cephalic version) or possibly a c-section. or maybe she'll flip back around on her own! we'll see...
- i know that breech = bad, but ever since she flipped into this position, i've been so much more comfortable! so the relief is kind of nice.
- i now have exactly two pairs of pants that fit. (and really, only one pair that fits well.) dressing for the next few weeks could get interesting....
- i am unbelievably excited to meet my baby girl!!! i continue to praise God for this miracle.
Wednesday, November 23, 2011
one month! (give or take a few days....)
today is the 23rd. that means my due date is in one month. ONE MONTH. how do i feel about that?
terrified, apprehensive, excited :-)
one month seems like a rather short amount of time... when i consider all of the remaining projects that i'd like to finish before isla arrives. although, i've recently come to the point where i can honestly say it won't be the end of the world if XYZ doesn't happen before baby girl comes home. (do i HAVE to get the tax documents properly filed before i become a mother? probably not.) :-)
but on the other hand, one month seems like an excruciatingly long amount of time... when i think about how much longer i have to bear this uncomfortable and even painful physical condition. i had a gloriously easy first 7.5 months of pregnancy. no morning sickness, just a touch of nausea, minor back pain, but really, nothing horrible. however, in the past two weeks, my body has taken on some of the ugly and unpleasant pregnancy side effects. and it hurts. to sit, to stand, to walk, to relax. it just hurts. always. BUT every uncomfortable moment is a reminder of the blessing that is to come. i cannot even express how thankful i am to be in this position, as unpleasant as it may be at times! i am so excited to meet our baby girl, our answer to prayer, our gift from God.
happy thanksgiving to you and your families!
Thursday, November 17, 2011
shower of blessings
this past saturday, my sister threw a lovely baby shower for me. at my request, it was not a surprise, but i was entirely blessed and surprised by all of the fun little details. and, ooohhh, the food!! i think that was probably the best part. :-) but let's start at the beginning...
here i am, prior to the shower. at 34 weeks, i'm looking rather pregnant, don't you think? :-)
when i arrived at the shower (which was held in an old renovated mill that is owned by my church), i was delighted to see that it had been decorated with the colors i'm using for the nursery -- black, white, aqua, and yellow. so cute!
after some socializing, we opened presents. i wasn't surprised to receive a multitude of super cute baby girl outfits and accessories! i mean, who can resist.... :-)
i was especially impressed with my grandma's gift wrapping of the diaper bag! hilarious. :-)
after gifts, we ate a truly fabulous meal. three different types of homemade soup, various freshly-baked breads, asian noodle salad, apple salad, bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, and hot cider.
and the desserts! check out that spread. cupcakes, lemon bars, lime bars, and cake pops decorated as baby chicks. (the cake pops were truly a labor of love -- thank you, keri!! i could have eaten a dozen of them...)
it was a fun evening, filled with some of my most favorite people in the world. my sister certainly went out of her way to make the day special for me. thank you, keri! i love you!!
up next on the baby to-do list:
here i am, prior to the shower. at 34 weeks, i'm looking rather pregnant, don't you think? :-)
when i arrived at the shower (which was held in an old renovated mill that is owned by my church), i was delighted to see that it had been decorated with the colors i'm using for the nursery -- black, white, aqua, and yellow. so cute!
after some socializing, we opened presents. i wasn't surprised to receive a multitude of super cute baby girl outfits and accessories! i mean, who can resist.... :-)
i was especially impressed with my grandma's gift wrapping of the diaper bag! hilarious. :-)
after gifts, we ate a truly fabulous meal. three different types of homemade soup, various freshly-baked breads, asian noodle salad, apple salad, bacon-wrapped water chestnuts, and hot cider.
and the desserts! check out that spread. cupcakes, lemon bars, lime bars, and cake pops decorated as baby chicks. (the cake pops were truly a labor of love -- thank you, keri!! i could have eaten a dozen of them...)
it was a fun evening, filled with some of my most favorite people in the world. my sister certainly went out of her way to make the day special for me. thank you, keri! i love you!!
up next on the baby to-do list:
- assemble the crib and finish the nursery (we're getting close...!)
- wash and organize baby clothes
- this weekend, attend a whirlwind childbirth class (5 hours on saturday and sunday... let's hope i don't run away screaming. the whole labor and delivery thing is completely terrifying to me!)
Friday, October 21, 2011
blessings
baby isla is due in two months. TWO MONTHS. i'm pretty sure that's not possible. i don't feel the slightest bit prepared, but ready or not, the girl is on her way!
the "to do" list still feels a mile long, but we've crossed off some pretty major things. each one of these items came with its fair share of drama, but in the end, i can see how God has worked through the difficulties and, despite my shortcomings and shortsightedness, has poured out His blessings.
i also feel extraordinarily blessed to be carrying a healthy baby girl inside of me. we had a bit of a scare last week that landed me in the triage unit of the women and babies hospital for four hours. long story short, while preparing for a luncheon at work, i tripped over a pumpkin and landed pretty hard on my belly. (it's ok. you can laugh. i'm laughing about it now too!) :-) after talking to the doctor through hysterical sobbing, she strongly urged me to go to the hospital for observation.
ahhhhh, yes. there i am, feeling pretty snazzy in my hospital gown. :-) don't look too closely -- there are tears and eye makeup smeared all over my face! they monitored me and isla for several hours, did some blood work (to make sure there was no internal bleeding), and performed another ultrasound. from the ultrasound, we learned that:
just needed to share these blessings out loud and to remind myself that it's all going to work out... one way or another. thanks for stopping by! :-)
the "to do" list still feels a mile long, but we've crossed off some pretty major things. each one of these items came with its fair share of drama, but in the end, i can see how God has worked through the difficulties and, despite my shortcomings and shortsightedness, has poured out His blessings.
- due to the amazing generosity of the most fantastic family EVER, i am able to extend my maternity leave from 6 weeks to 12 weeks!
- we have found and secured isla's place in a quality, affordable daycare!
- steve found a (very) part-time job at a local christian radio station to help off-set the cost of childcare!
- feeling pretty blue about having to be a working mom, i set up a little "working moms' support group." i'm looking forward to meeting with these ladies in a few weeks to see how they've handled the transition!
i also feel extraordinarily blessed to be carrying a healthy baby girl inside of me. we had a bit of a scare last week that landed me in the triage unit of the women and babies hospital for four hours. long story short, while preparing for a luncheon at work, i tripped over a pumpkin and landed pretty hard on my belly. (it's ok. you can laugh. i'm laughing about it now too!) :-) after talking to the doctor through hysterical sobbing, she strongly urged me to go to the hospital for observation.
ahhhhh, yes. there i am, feeling pretty snazzy in my hospital gown. :-) don't look too closely -- there are tears and eye makeup smeared all over my face! they monitored me and isla for several hours, did some blood work (to make sure there was no internal bleeding), and performed another ultrasound. from the ultrasound, we learned that:
- isla is definitely a girl.
- she is healthy and doing great. (although, she is still breech. so isla, annnnny time you want to do a little flip-er-oo, please go for it. thanks in advance.) ;-)
- she has the cutest little ears.
- she has a head full of hair!
just needed to share these blessings out loud and to remind myself that it's all going to work out... one way or another. thanks for stopping by! :-)
Friday, September 23, 2011
what's in a name?
well. i've arrived at 27 weeks. depending on which book / website you read, this is the beginning of the third trimester. (some say it starts at week 27... others say it starts at week 28... i say, "holy crap, i'm having a baby in 13 weeks!" ummm, that's less than 100 days. seriously.) :-)
anyway, things have been a bit roller-coastery as of late. as excited as i am to welcome Baby Girl into our lives, i am equally as overwhelmed / terrified / concerned / bewildered / wondering what-the-heck-were-we-thinking?? without fail, every time i find myself in a moment of peace and happiness, ((boom)) the bottom drops out.
((boom)) we totaled the car.
((boom)) the basement floods.
((boom)) maternity leave is not going to be as long as i thought.
((boom)) i'm not getting the raise that i'd been praying for.
((boom)) steve will be deployed to afghanistan for 4 months next year.
((boom)) the nearly-free childcare we'd been counting on is not available after all.
((boom)) somehow we need to come up with several hundred extra dollars per month for childcare.
it's gotten to the point where i'm almost afraid to be happy, for fear of what big scary event may be lying in wait just around the corner. this is probably not a healthy way to live -- in a constant state of fear -- but i seem to be batting a thousand lately. and it's just.so.frustrating. it's robbing me of the joy of this new life inside of me. it's making me bitter towards people who can afford to live on one salary and be stay-at-home-moms. it's pushing me to question so many things about God and the complexities of his plan. it's exhausting me to realize that maybe this is just how life is and will continue to be. it's making me wonder what i did wrong to get to this point?
man, what a downer, right? but hey, i'm pregnant. mood swings kind of come with the territory. (speaking of which, do you watch The Office? in last night's season premiere, i was completely cracking up at weepy, pregnant Pam. that is so me.) :-)
anyway, i have no brilliant Bible verses or cutesie anecdotes or inspirational pep talks today. but i do have God's grace, and i'm holding on as tightly as i can. which brings me to my final thought for the day -- Baby Lougee's name. steve and i have pretty much agreed on this name from the get-go. so unless she really, really doesn't look like this when she's born, her name will be.....
(for the record, Isla is pronounced "eye-luh.") :-)
anyway, things have been a bit roller-coastery as of late. as excited as i am to welcome Baby Girl into our lives, i am equally as overwhelmed / terrified / concerned / bewildered / wondering what-the-heck-were-we-thinking?? without fail, every time i find myself in a moment of peace and happiness, ((boom)) the bottom drops out.
((boom)) we totaled the car.
((boom)) the basement floods.
((boom)) maternity leave is not going to be as long as i thought.
((boom)) i'm not getting the raise that i'd been praying for.
((boom)) steve will be deployed to afghanistan for 4 months next year.
((boom)) the nearly-free childcare we'd been counting on is not available after all.
((boom)) somehow we need to come up with several hundred extra dollars per month for childcare.
it's gotten to the point where i'm almost afraid to be happy, for fear of what big scary event may be lying in wait just around the corner. this is probably not a healthy way to live -- in a constant state of fear -- but i seem to be batting a thousand lately. and it's just.so.frustrating. it's robbing me of the joy of this new life inside of me. it's making me bitter towards people who can afford to live on one salary and be stay-at-home-moms. it's pushing me to question so many things about God and the complexities of his plan. it's exhausting me to realize that maybe this is just how life is and will continue to be. it's making me wonder what i did wrong to get to this point?
man, what a downer, right? but hey, i'm pregnant. mood swings kind of come with the territory. (speaking of which, do you watch The Office? in last night's season premiere, i was completely cracking up at weepy, pregnant Pam. that is so me.) :-)
anyway, i have no brilliant Bible verses or cutesie anecdotes or inspirational pep talks today. but i do have God's grace, and i'm holding on as tightly as i can. which brings me to my final thought for the day -- Baby Lougee's name. steve and i have pretty much agreed on this name from the get-go. so unless she really, really doesn't look like this when she's born, her name will be.....
Isla Grace
(for the record, Isla is pronounced "eye-luh.") :-)
i'm really into name meanings, so here we go... Isla most frequently means "island," but it also means "flowing like a river." and Grace means, well, grace. :-) unmerited favor or goodwill. so, in these dark days of uncertainty, i pray to God and thank him over and over again for the "flowing grace" in our lives. what a blessing.
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