making time

after isla's first day of daycare

i have now been back at work for one week.  and it's been... challenging.  but not in the way i was expecting. i was expecting to feel "mommy guilt," to hate being away from my little girl, to feel all kinds of emotional turmoil.  and while i do certainly miss isla throughout the day and she is never far from my thoughts, i've actually found it enjoyable to be back in a professional environment.  i LOVE being part of team, talking to adults every day, helping and encouraging people, crossing tangible items off my to-do list every single day.  it's very fulfilling for me.

i was also expecting to dread dropping off isla at daycare every morning.  but (with the exception of the first day when she cried and cried), she has transitioned quite nicely!  her teachers have told me how much she enjoys watching the "big kids" play.  (and by "big kids," i mean 6-12 months.)  :-)  she giggles and coos and kicks at little toys hanging over her.  she even naps!  (ground-breaking!)  i love that she will make friends and learn social skills at such an early age.  i have 100% confidence in the daycare center that we chose.  what a HUGE answer to prayer!

the challenging part about being back at work has been time management in my personal life.  in other words, trying to figure out how to accomplish everything that needs done on the home front.  from the time i get up at 5AM until the time isla finally goes to sleep at 9:30PM (give or take an hour), my day is go, go, go!  there is just no down time.  it's silly, perhaps, but i've been stressing about:

• having time to cook well-balanced meals
• having time to clean
• spending enough time with isla
• spending enough time with steve
• finding time to exercise
• finding time to read
• finding time to pray and read my Bible

there is just never enough time!

but isn't that always the case?  no matter what stage of life we are in, there is always something eating up our time.  so we evaluate, prioritize, assess, adjust... and eventually, something works out.  a new rhythm is created.  a few months ago, our pastor spoke about finding margin in our lives.  i'm not sure if this is possible for a new, working mom.  but i'm going to try anyway.  :-)  i'm looking for practical ways to simplify...  ways to enjoy life instead of always looking to the next thing on the list and feeling overextended...  ways to establish a schedule that works for our family but also to feel joy and freedom within the structure.  here are a few ideas i've come up with:

• make a meal menu on the weekends.  prepare as many meals as possible in advance.  also keep a stock of freezer meals.
• pick out my outfit and isla's outfit the night before.  (i can't even tell you how much time i waste on this in the mornings...  it's embarrassing.)
• turn some of my exercising into play time with isla (i found some fun mama/baby exercises here and here.  isla loves it!)
• turn the tv off.  especially during dinner time.
• sing and pray in the shower.
• as much as possible, don't just put things down -- put them away.  (this was a little tip i read in my real simple magazine.  i love it!)

so.  what else do you have for me?  what tricks have you discovered to balance life?  to create more time?  to help your busy day go a little smoother?

snuggling with isla yesterday morning after she caught her first cold at daycare :-)

if i could save time in a bottle...

this week, it's really been hitting me how soon i have to go back to work.  and how quickly these precious days with my little sweet pea are going to come to an end.  it's crushing me!  i'm confident that it will all work out okay and that i'll even enjoy being back at work once we get into a comfortable rhythm... but getting there may be a challenge.

i'm happy to feel so torn, though.  during the first month of isla's life, i think i would have given anything to be back at work and feel "normal" again.  but we've both grown so much since then... fallen so much more in love with each other...  we've created a "new normal."  so somehow, my broken heart makes me feel like i'm doing something right.

in lieu of the end of maternity leave approaching so quickly, we've been doing an awful lot of this...

snuggling, snuggling, snuggling...

(the dishes can wait.  she will only fit so perfectly under my chin for a little while...)

doing everything in my power to bring out that gurgling grin...

(singing "i believe in a thing called love," dancing like a goofball around the living room, making motorboat sounds.  only for you, girly!)

staring into those big, curious eyes....

(never stop learning, baby!  i'm so proud of you already!)

so, so thankful for this little girl.  my heart has never felt so big!