With a Little Help from My Friends...

I’ve had an awful lot of encouragement along this path towards pregnancy.  SO many people offered to pray after reading my blog – and I really felt it.  I got cards and messages too from people sharing their stories of infertility with me.  Many people recommended books to me, and one generous friend even sent me a copy of Taking Charge of Your Fertility.  Every little nugget of encouragement did amazing things for my soul.  I felt whole and human again, and not so much like a failure.  I felt like there was hope for me, even though I didn’t yet know what would happen.

One person went above and beyond, and I just have to share this with you, because I get teary-eyed every time I think about it.  In early March of this year, my sister sent me the following message over Facebook.

Beth,

I just wanted to try to send you some encouragement.  (I hope it is encouraging!)  I have been completely unable to get you out of my mind.  I know what it feels like to want a baby and to not understand why it isn't happening.  I know how it hurts.  I know all the questions that go through your mind and all the doubts and frustrations.  I know how helpless and hopeless it can feel.

One thing you have said... that maybe God isn't giving you a child because maybe he knows you won't be a good mother... Well, I just wanted to give you some perspective on that.  Beth, I had that VERY same thought too.  Over and over again.  Then I read about all the infertile women in the Bible (Sarah, Rebekah, Rachel, Hannah, Elizabeth... and also Samson's mom).  Every one of these women suffered years and years of barrenness.   And in the end, each woman was the mother of a great leader of God's chosen people.  Their barrenness had nothing to do with their inability to be a good mother.  Quite the opposite.  They were blessed women.  They were extraordinary mothers.  They were cherished by their husbands, their God, and their long awaited children.  Please, don't begin to doubt your worth or think that you are being punished in any way because you have trouble conceiving.  It's a lie from the pit of hell.  You will be a great mother.  You will be an even better mother for having to wait.

I also wanted to let you know something that I have committed to do for you.  I know that when one is struggling to have a baby... Well, prayers just don't happen.  My prayers were either angry shouts or one tearful word, "please."  I didn't know how to ask anymore or what to say.  I don't know if you are at this point, but I suspect you might be.  I am committing to you to be your prayer warrior.  To stand in for you and pray.  To intercede on your behalf.  Especially on Mondays.  I am committing to fast and pray continually for you on Mondays.  I do not tell you this for any other reason than to let you know that there are some serious prayers and petitions going up for you.  I hope you find encouragement in this.  As my physical and spiritual sister, I need to hold you up when you get weary.  A very good friend did this for me when I was struggling so badly.  I will do this for you.  I will do this until you conceive or God gives you clear guidance and peace with another direction (WHATEVER that may be).

I love you, Beth Elaine.  And I believe you will be a mommy.  A great mommy.

Yup, I’m definitely crying again.  (I can blame that on pregnancy hormones, right?!)  Don’t you wish you had a sister like that?  :-)

Now, Keri probably won’t love that I’m sharing this with you, but I just can’t NOT share it, you know?  Do you know how amazing it feels to really know that someone is praying for you?  And not only praying for you, but fasting too?  This was especially helpful for me because, as she said in her note, when you are struggling so badly with something, there are many times when prayers just don’t happen.  You just don’t know what to say anymore.  Every time you try to open your heart to God, you end up either sobbing or screaming or just speechless from exhaustion.

I honestly feel like I have Keri to thank for my pregnancy – to a certain extent, anyway.  :-)

As a result of this amazing prayer support, I am now taking the challenge myself.  Many of you know that my sister and her husband are currently in the waiting stage of international adoption.  (It’s been a loooong, amazing journey, which you can read about on her blog.)  I have another friend, Megan and her husband Pete, who are also waiting for news from their domestic adoption.  I commit my Mondays to praying for both of these families as they wait… as their hearts and arms ache to hold their babies.

So friends, think for a moment about the power of prayer and the ways in which God has worked through prayer in your life.  Who can you lift up in prayer today?  Who in your life is broken and struggling and needs a warrior to intercede on his or her behalf?